The Diary of Frodo Baggins
by Cleo-And Tsunami
Summary: This is humor, a diary or Frodo Baggins. I wuz bored and had to much pop. The title basicllyexplains it all...R&R!! CHappie 2 up, email me to help me w/ it! I have WBS!!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer- nope...  
  
  
Note- I'm really bored...so, I wrote this... each chapter will have about 4 entrees.  
  
  
  
  
  
The Diary of Frodo Baggins  
  
Chapter 1   
  
Date unknown--  
  
I hope Bilbo has a nice voyage. I always thought he was little batty, so I'm happy he left. I get the place to myself! Paarrtaay!!!!!! Is that gardener, Samwise Gamgee stalking me? He is always watching me, what a queer!  
  
Date unknown--  
  
Why is Gandolf here? Why won't he ever die? He should be like 4 billion years old! Besides, why didn't he die when I set off all those fireworks when he was standing by them. That was like 200 pounds of explosives. He needs to wash his beard...mabey if we play cards tonight and he wins, I'll buy him a bar of soap!!  
  
Date unknown--( once more!!)   
  
As you have noticed I don't write dates. Nothing interesting to talk about. Except Rose Gamgee had like the 15th child. Mabey Sam is straight in the head...or mabey not...  
  
No date--  
  
Damn Bilbo, damn Gandolf, and double damn this ring! Damn the person who made it, and damn me to being relation to Bilbo! Damn Damn Damn!! Damn my dad for marring my mother, and her letting him touch her!! Damn this very day! Why the heck can't Gandolf take the ring? If can't take it, I sure as hell can't!  
  
No date--  
  
I'm leaving sometime in the near future. And, my luck, I got stuck with Sam...why does he get into EVERYTHING??????? Oh shit!! I'm going to go on a near death mission a virgin!! Got ot get laid before I leave!   
  
August 14--   
  
I'm leaving soon. Too soon for comfort. There is this new girl in town, boy, she is a fox! Hold on...SAM, GO AWAY!!!--sorry. He is a strange, strange person. Mabey he was dropped on his head as a kid. Or it could be he was born that way. Oh the possibilities...  
  
  
  
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You like it? As I said, I was mojorly bord, and I have had pop...Yes, I know that people don't write or let alone talk like that in middle-earth. It is suppost to be funny people!! ;P   
Cleo  
XXX 


	2. Chappie 2

The Diary of Frodo Baggins

Chapter 2 

Date Unknown- 

            We have set off, and it is the most boring thing I have done. I think that Sam is watching me sleep, because when I wake up I find him watching me. What a creep. 

Date Unknown- 

            Sam and I have met up with Merry and Pippin. They are hobbits too, and they are cousins. I personally think they are gay together. That's nasty and major incest. Pippin kept trying to convince me I was too tired to give myself a bath. Strange. 

Date Unknown- 

            We are being chased by big people on big black horses. We hid in a bar, and it was pretty nice, but it wasn't a strip club. I heard it was a strip club, but its not. Damn! Oh, great, those big people are dead. Or were they alive? Oh, who cares, they chase us. I put on the stupid ring to get away from the Aragon guy, he told me to call him Strider. He would not stop trying to hold my hand. I had to get away. He totally turned me off…especially with his stench…maybe that is why no one was sitting by him. While I had the ring on I cave Sam a hug wedgie. I couldn't resist. Hehe… 

Same Night- 

            Strider invited us to sleep in his room to 'hide'. Merry and Pippin agreed really quickly. 

Next Day-

            While leaving Bree, Sam got a horse. Here I am the ring bearer and Sam gets a horse. Not fair! On the way, someone grabbed my butt. I think it was Strider because when I looked at him he started to giggle madly. Strange.

Date Not Available- 

            Strider cannot cook worth shit; I think he will be the death of me and his special food. He got it out of a book called, "How to make small hobbits, which are carrying the ring that will soon and most likely cause mass destruction, excited." I think it really looked like shit. I think the book had a picture of me on the front…do you think the books was made about me? 

            Well, I hope you like it. I think it sucks. I can't think of anything!!! I have major writers block! If you have any suggestions, e-mail me at elflover_06@hotmail.com or (duh!) review!!! Please please review to help me! 

CLEO 


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